Choosing to Grow

Growth.

Sometimes in life, the most growth comes out of pain. I'll be honest. I hate this fact. But as much as I try to fight it, I know it's true. I guess it give pain a purpose. A way to bring good out of something bad, but it makes me feel like the bad was somehow justified. And so I fight it.

The last six months have been challenging. I've been dealing with some issues that I thought were dead and dealt with, and I've been surprised at how much pain emotion, and insecurity it brought up for me.

Recently in worship at church, some lyrics to a song really stood out to me. It was about loving others the way God loves me and living out that love.

I really felt like God was whispering to me that I can choose to react out of my insecurity and continue the emotional spiral I've been in, or I can choose to respond in love. Insecurity is my comfort zone. Respond in insecurity and the walls go up. I may not be hurt, but I sure do come off as a, you know, .....itch.

Live out love? Love takes growth. Intentionality. Vulnerability. Dealing with my insecurity head on and choosing trust instead of fear and doubt. Bottom line, it's hard.

This year, I'm going to choose growth, and with God's help deal with my insecurity as best I can.